I’ve smelled a few really stinky perfumes that claimed to smell wonderful but Sécrétions Magnifiques by Etat Libre d’Orange was the first that actually claims to smell bad. Not bad as in disgustingly sweet or sickeningly floral, but actually designed to make you feel totally nauseous after a single whiff.

Etat Libre d’Orange is a niche brand who calls itself an alternative fragrance house. From their website: “With an emphasis on originality, audacity, authenticity and freedom of expression, Etat Libre d’Orange proposes surprising olfactory compositions, without any limitations in terms of creativity, raw materials or expense.”

Sécrétions Magnifiques was one first of the fragrances from Etat Libre d’Orange, the French brand founded by Etienne de Swardt and launched in 2006. Since then it’s achieved cult status as one of the nastiest, revolting fragrances around while still maintaining passionate fans of its disturbing odor.

So what does it smell like? Sécrétions Magnifiques reeks of blood, sweat and semen. There’s also a metallic smell which reminds me of dirty coins as well as musk.  The listed perfume notes are: lodized accord, adrenaline accord, blood accord, milk accord, iris, coconut, sandalwood and opoponax.

This would make an ideal Frankenstein’s monster or serial killer’s signature scent. Seriously it is just that bad.  I can’t imagine anyone wanting to wear this unless he was a serious misanthrope who wanted to smell like death warmed over. Obviously it’s intended to shock and provoke but there’s a difference between being edgy and being downright vile. This one crosses that line period.

I’ll say one final thing about this astoundingly bad perfume. If you want to try it just to see what the hype is about,DO NOT APPLY IT TO YOUR SKIN!!! It takes several showers to get the stench off. Spray on a blotter if you have the masochistic desire to experience this.